Rabbits Know How to Travel

148 words published on September 2nd

Most rabbits—they know how to travel. There are the basics. They know how to pack, when to leave, how much distance to cover in a day. They know how to pace themselves. When to hop and when to leap.

They know the best truck stops and rest areas. They know when to get coffee and when to eat pretzels. They listen to Gene Autry in the morning. They listen to Duke Ellington at night.

They stay with friends. Most rabbits bring gifts and leave thank-you cards. Cards with clever messages or pencil drawings on the inside. They draw pictures of stars and carrots and grasshoppers. They write messages like: “We had a hopping good time” and “It’s time for us to bounce.”

Except for jackrabbits. Those good for nothing sons-of-bitches just eat and dance and shit. They couldn’t read a map if their lives depended on it.